Other people’s insecure partners are the bane of my life. I’ve never understood the issue. When there isn’t a guy on the planet I want
to sleep with right now, you can pretty much rest assured that I don’t wanna sleep
with your boyfriend or husband. Even if he wants to sleep with me, which I
very much doubt, it isn’t happening.
Still, there’s this whole bunch of other women who are
scared of me, which annoys the crap out of me, because, what the hell is there
to be scared about? I’m a forty year old who lives with her mother, for fuck’s
sake. Sure, I can be smart and funny
sometimes, I have this weird cosmic child-of-the-universe thing going on that
some guys find attractive (and, okay, it is my house that we’re living in)… but
that’s the sum of it. I’m a moody, unpredictable, narcissistic bitch, and you’re
probably not. There’s nothing to see here.
I like men; I like the friendships I have with men, I like the dynamics, the rapport and the different flavour of playfulness
they offer. Yet, I just found out there’s someone else who’s been banned from
talking to me because of the Lil Miss Insecurity hanging on his arm. I’m so fucking angry and upset about it, but
what can I do? I’m not talking a once or
twice thing here, this has gotta be the twentieth time or more it’s happened,
and it sucks; it fucking sucks, and I’m the one who ends up getting hurt and
losing a friend every single time.
I have so much respect for Anna, and this is yet another
reason I think so highly of her. No
matter how weird things got between me & John, (and boy, did they ever get
weird), she somehow knew that neither of us would act on it. They got together so young, he was 24, she was 21, I really didn’t expect it to last. She
seemed the opposite online: her profile picture on Facebook always had John in
it, and the majority of her statuses started with ‘we’ rather than ‘I’. She was an infatuated kid in my eyes, and I was sure I had this one in the bag. but I needed to know for certain
I insisted and insisted that John introduced me to her, until, eventually and reluctantly, he did. And she was so beautiful, and charming, and intelligent, and so goddamned perfect in every way, I wanted to smash his nose into his stupid face for ever starting our strange flirtation (hey John; hope you’re taking notes here). I only met Anna once, but I simply cannot imagine either of them with anyone else, ever again. Even if he got so wasted he persuaded reception to give him a key, and I found him naked in my hotel room bed, it wouldn’t happen… (hey John; hope you’re not having any flashbacks here).
The two of them were meant to be, and no matter how tempted I may have been at times, there was no fucking way on this planet I could ever consider messing that up. They've been married for 5 years now, and even though things still get awkward between me & John sometimes. I've no doubt whatsoever that they'll happily celebrate their 50th anniversary without either one of them having strayed.
I insisted and insisted that John introduced me to her, until, eventually and reluctantly, he did. And she was so beautiful, and charming, and intelligent, and so goddamned perfect in every way, I wanted to smash his nose into his stupid face for ever starting our strange flirtation (hey John; hope you’re taking notes here). I only met Anna once, but I simply cannot imagine either of them with anyone else, ever again. Even if he got so wasted he persuaded reception to give him a key, and I found him naked in my hotel room bed, it wouldn’t happen… (hey John; hope you’re not having any flashbacks here).
The two of them were meant to be, and no matter how tempted I may have been at times, there was no fucking way on this planet I could ever consider messing that up. They've been married for 5 years now, and even though things still get awkward between me & John sometimes. I've no doubt whatsoever that they'll happily celebrate their 50th anniversary without either one of them having strayed.
Not everyone is like Anna though, and I’m left in the
suckiest situation I can be in. Seems like the only thing I can do is wait for
the relationship to end. If you’re dictating who your other half can and can’t
talk to, at least that’s the one thing I can hold onto with some degree of certainty: your relationship
is gonna end. And, when it does, I’m gonna be there, laughing - ready to welcome him back into my world.
…I did mention I was a bitch, didn’t I?
Try a little trust.
Try a little trust.
